There are some obvious questions that Obama should have asked his opponent during his debatable performance. Maybe he’ll ask this one at the next debate.
Governor, before we start our debate, I’d like to ask you, which Romney will be debating me, tonight? Because last time we met, I was confused as to which one was up there on the platform with me. You see, you look so much alike, but that’s where the resemblance ends.
The Romney with whom I debated on October 3rd was obviously not the same Mitt that tried to out-conserve his conservative challengers. That Romney, you remember him, boasted that he was a STRICT conservative, as opposed to the other contenders, Michelle Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, Herman Cain and the two Dicks, Perry and Santorum, the not–all–that–strict conservatives.
The live audiences that witnessed those debates applauded loudly when the Texas Governor boasted of his state’s execution record. Yet, that Mitt Romney easily defeated Pistol-Packing Perry and all the others to the right of Genghis Kahn.
That Mitt Romney assured his billionaire base that he would lower their taxes, because their effective rate of around 14% was too much to pay, and was coming dangerously close to half the tax rate their secretaries pay. That Mitt asked us to trust him on just how he intended to pay for that boondoggle. But, like Nixon’s secret plan to end the Vietnam War, we’ll just have to wait until January 20 to see how you will achieve this.
And I was so glad to hear that you love Big Bird. I was worried about that. You don’t intend to fund him, the News Hour, and other public interest shows. And why should you? Federal outlays for public broadcasting are about .012% of our total budget, and we would have to beg China for the money to pay for it (their egg roll budget for an entire year). But you prefer K Street over Sesame Street and the Downtown Lobby to Downton Abbey. You think that the Koch Brothers, Exxon Mobil and Big Corn should fund public broadcasting because that would ensure fair news coverage when those giants of industry do something nasty to the planet.
Your positions have changed more times than a baby’s diaper. And we know what’s inside that diaper.
I’m asking you this question because I am now awake, which I was not rumored to be during our last debate.